Exploding chewing gum pt 1 and pt 2

By December 16, 2015

imagesFour dark shapes stood in an ally beside a manhole. “When are they going to get here?”, asked Martin. “They are ten minutes late already.” “Those crazy rats are always late,” Taco said. “They probably (munch munch) stopped at Chipotle,” said burrito. “No!”, Chili answered, “they always stop at Lou malnatis!” Suddenly, the manhole burst open, and two rats in Armani overcoats stepped out. “Mario and Marcisio here,” said one of the rats. “What can we do for you?” “You’re late,” Martin said blankly. “Sorry Mr. Martin,” said Marcisio. “Miss Sally’s cat gave us a little trouble… But what can we do for you?” “Well,” said Burrito, “we need chips, salsa, guacamole…. “Quiet!” Demanded Taco. “You talk too much.”(To Marcisio) We need something to help us get out of here, something special, something… Dangerous! “Well,” said Mario, “how about laser guns?” “Oh wait! Were out of stock, sorry.” “Shoot!”, said Martin, “Got anything else?” “Well…”, said Mario, as he pulled out a diamond-encrusted notebook. “Were out of atomic water balloons, lightning fazers…” “Oh! You’re in luck,” Mario said. “Our new ‘Exploding Chewing Gum’ is still in stock!” “Oh great!”, said Martin, “we’ll take six packs! By the way, where do you get it?” “Simple!”, replied Marcisio. “The S.S.S.S.S.S.” “That doesn’t sound so simple,” said Taco. “What dose it stand for? “The Super Secret Special Spy Supply Shop,” replied Marcisio readily. “How far away is it?” asked Martin. “Oh, about forty miles,” said Mario. “Oh look!” said Marcisio. “I have 2,034 steps on my Fitbit! A new record!” “Ta ta for now,” said Mario, “We’ll be back on time tomorrow night.”

And with that they disappeared down the manhole.

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Unknown-2Two small figures crept stealthily towards a large black building, surrounded by a vast brick wall. “Uh…Mario?,” asked Marchisio. “How are we going to get in?” “Dunno,” replied Mario, pulling out his iPhone 12.  “I’ll look it up on google maps.” “Ok.” “I will play Angry Birds while you do that,” continued Marchisio. “Ugh!,” said Mario. “You’re obsessed with that game.” “Oh for heaven sakes you’re even more obsessed with your Fitbit,” Marchisio returned. “Whatever,” Mario said. “Here’s the door.” “Ok!”, said Marchisio …. “Whado I do?” “Uhhh… Nail a rope across the door way!”, suggested Mario. “Done!” “Ok, ring the bell!”  A few seconds later, a masked figure opened the door and stepped out… and fell flat on his face, knocked out cold.  “Move, move, move…,” said Mario, and they ran in. “Where now?” said Marcisio. “Right,” said Mario. “Left.” “Down these stairs.” “Right.” “Right.” “Left.” “Now—-in here,” said Mario, gesturing to a hallway.  After about fifty yards, they came to a big iron door. “Marchisio…. the laser pointer,” demanded Mario. Slowly, Mario cut a large hole in the door. “Come on,” said Mario, climbing in. Inside, they saw countless pistols, pencil guns and other spy gear. Finally, they came to a box, labeled “Exploding Chewing Gum,” and Mario reached in and grabbed a handful. But as he did so, his foot hit a rope tied across the floor and instantly a loud buzzing sound filled the building, “RED ALERT! RED ALERT! STORE ROOM THIRTEEN IS BEING RAIDED! I REPEAT: STORE ROOM THIRTEEN IS BEING RAIDED!” “Quick!”, said Mario. “Head for the door!” Luckily, the man at the door was still unconscious. “Run!” said Mario. Unfortunately, the security cameras had seen them. And spy vehicles of all sorts headed towards them, but rats are fast runners and they had a five-minute head start. However, slowly but surely the spies started catching up. “I don’t think we can make it,” gasped Marchisio. ” “Yes we can,” answered Mario. “There’s a car dealer ship right ahead.” “Phew! I was getting worried,” said Marchisio. “We need something fast,” said Mario. “How about a Bugatti?” asked Marchisio. “They’re fast, sporty…. and Italian,” he explained with a twinkle in his eye. “Perfect. Now let’s get moving,” said Mario. And with that, they sped at 250 MPH back to the Zoo.

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Back at the Zoo, Martin and the penguins where waiting for the rats. “Ten fifty-nine and fifty-six seconds, ten fifty-nine and fifty-seven seconds, ten fifty-nine and fifty-eight seconds, ten fifty-nine and fifty-nine seconds, eleven…..” “They’re late.” Thirty seconds later the rats arrived. “Nice car!” said Martin, impressed. “But you’re late and…” “Oh for heaven sakes,” Mario broke in, “I don’t want to go through this thing again. Anyway, we got the gum.” “We need to test it on something,” said Burrito. “To make sure it works.” “He’s right,” Taco agreed. “How about Sally’s house?” That was a welcome suggestion. A few minutes later, they had a line of sticks of gum around the exterior of the building. “5… 4… 3… 2… 1…,” counted Mario, but nothing happened. “Shoot!” exclaimed Mario. “We’ll put more gun powder in it and bring it back in a few days.” “No thanks,” said Martin, “we’ll try something else.” “Okay,” said the rats, “give us a call if you need anything.” “I’ll keep the gum,” said Mario. “It may come in use some other time. But I must make sure not to put to much gun powder in.”

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Dr. Creep

Author Dr. Creep

Dr.Creep writes for the "Museum of Natural Creepery." When he is not writing, he spends his time swimming with sharks and crocodiles; drinking margaritas; sky-diving off the Sears Tower; and hunting ducks and aardvarks in the Serengeti

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